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Stultae Sumus
E M P L O Y M E N T
~ Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher needed. Patient, non-Death Eater desired. Previous teaching or dark arts defense a plus. Please inquire at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. ~
P E R S O N A L S
~ Attractive, blonde, gossipy girl looking for someone who loves rumor monger and doesn't mind being bugged a little. Send owl to R.S. at the Daily Prophet ~
~ Single green Willow looking for vivacious young arbor to put down roots with and share a few good whomps. Send owl to W.W. on Hogwarts school grounds. ~
~ SWM seeks evil SWF aged 30 - 40. Must enjoy potions, dark arts studies, and harrassing children. So, if you would like to make love potions with a skinny, long-haired, suave man, send an owl to S.S., at Hogwarts. ~
~ Middle-aged mystic searching through the future for soulmate who enjoys romantic crystal ball gazings, merging star charts, and interpreting love signs in the tea leaves. Send owl to S.T., Hogwarts.~
~ Lonely but powerful dark wizard, searching for SF to share world domination. Must enjoy gratuitous violence, maniacal laughing, and irish jig. Send up Dark Mark, LV will find you. ~
I SAW YOU
~ My slicked backed Slytherin, I saw you in Knockturn Alley. We exchanged untrusting leers and Bloody Mary's. I love the way the light glinted maliciously in your eyes. Send an owl to Knockturn Alley c/o L.M. ~
~ My tenacious tawney tomcat, I met you on Privet Drive in Surrey. You serenaded me for hours as I waited on a garden fence. Your sweet baritone songs still make me purr. Send owl to Hogwarts c/o M.M. ~
A D V E R T I S E M E N T S
~ Want to change your mum into a canary? Make your brother's tongue 4 ft. long? Send an owl with 2 Knuts, for a catalog, to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes: Gags so great you'll gag! ~
P E T S
~ Kneazle/Cat half-breed kittens. Will give away to good home. Kitten must approve first. Send owl to H.H. at Hogwarts~